day 20 – bring on the frustration.

by aileen on August 1, 2011

So apparently when you are doing what you are meant to be doing, resistance brings out the big guns. Today I fought them off.

My adobe software has decided to stop working, after a total of about 3 hours plus talking to various forms of adobe support (customer, technical, subscription and back around in the circle again), I uninstalled the entire suite of programs and reinstalled it (twice), learned a lot about India, found out a lot about how a mac really works and all the hidden code. I spent a couple of hours with a genius techie friend. Is it too obvious to point out that none of this was on my schedule ?

Despite this, I put my head down and kept working every chance I got. I learned new stuff, and got a lot done. Not everything I planned but more than I would have expected. I knew this was all just resistance and I couldn’t let it win.

The software issues are still not fixed, but I’m beginning to think my creative process is. The results will tell. I’m expecting big ones.

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When technology and creativity collide..

by aileen on August 1, 2011

I love clever… I love this – http://printstagr.am/ – a site that lets you print posters, prints, stickers and little books from your instagram pictures.

This made my Monday very happy.

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day 19 – everything looks different now.

by aileen on July 31, 2011

Back on day 7 I thought I had this sussed, worked out, in-the-bag. I started my blog post with “Maybe this should just be called ’7 days of creativity” and I meant it – I had found my idea stream again and I was done. And then, then I got stuck. Not a little stuck, a lot stuck.. I started to doubt myself, my ideas, my worth – everything. Any of you who rely on being creative for part of who you are know, understand this feeling. The angst – the price we pay. Or so I thought.

Yesterday I read a book that kicked me out of my “I’m so creative I’m miserable” phase and back to reality. None of this matters if we don’t create. It’s the doing not the being that really matters. As I mentioned yesterday -The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative BattlesSelf-Help Books)rocked my world. I reread it last night so I could have a better understanding of it and I still love it. Well most of it. I needed reality more than I needed angels and muses, although I’m sure there will be times when I’ll reread it for just those sections. There are a few times the book meanders into other topics that probably will show up in a book of their own one day. If you wanted to by cynical (and for once, I don’t) you could find enough evidence to back up your doubts, but if you read the book you’ll know that you are just creating more resistance. And resistance is what we must fight against.

I think I may have found my literary talisman. A little book I can turn to when I doubt myself, when I lurch into inaction, or question whether to go forward (the answer is always yes).

Last night, as I should have been sleeping, I came up with a resolution. I would publish a book of the creative activities on this 40 day mission. Not a deep soul searching journal, but a book of 40 days of exercises to help others find their creativity and the discipline to do it. It will be finished in 21 days and will be available on kindle. If you are reading this blog (and I know many of you are from the emails I am getting) and would like a preview copy just let me know. I’d love your feedback as I develop this project.

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day 18. one hour later.

by aileen on July 30, 2011

In my last post I said I was about to read a book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles – and I’m back, about an hour later to tell you I just did. Wow. Talk about the right book at the right time. It’s a book that’s really about procrastination but in its higher (and more effective form) resistance. It was like a kick in the arse (please say that in an English accent so it doesn’t sound as offensive). I realize that the more ‘in tune’ with my creativity I have become the more resistance I have encountered – this is a book that gets that, and tells you what to do about it. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the most practical book (although in places reads like a manual), it mentions angels and muses a fair bit, but you can welcome that language or reject it, and the book still works. His writing on fear is some of the most powerful I’ve ever read. It’s like he has a tiny camera trawling my insides and relaying streaming video direct to his office. I would quote it, but if I started it would go on for pages… let me just say he calls me on all my bs, and challenges me to really live.

It’s a short book – you can tell that by the time it took me to read it, but one that I will read again. I think it will be tonight’s bath book.

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Days 14-18 – the realization.

by aileen on July 30, 2011

In the past few days I have come to a realization. One that I tried to ignore, one that kept coming back to me.

I am not sharing my journey. I am stuck in my own little world, my office and the occasional coffee shop making great plans and trying new things but I am not writing about them in a way that anyone else is learning from this.

I asked myself why. This is the answer I have so far – “because I don’t know the outcome” – If this 40 day long experiment works.. and believe me, it feels long sometimes then I will rave about it like Morrissey talking about being vegetarian… but there is no promised outcome. No specific goal. It cannot fail or succeed because it is a process. Arghhhh I’m not used to this, or appearing vulnerable in print… but that is the point, right. To share, with anyone who reads, it the journey, not just the outcomes.

So here goes: The last four days (with as little judgement as I can muster)

I got it. I got meditation. I got in the zone. Once – And since then I have been desperately trying to get it back. (yes, I am now working on letting go of that outcome) It was amazing, I’m sure I could have sat there all day – I couldn’t move my legs at all after 10 mins. My yoga teacher then explained to me that meditation was the reason for yoga. All the poses are meant to help your body to be able to sit for longer in meditation. Suddenly it all began to make sense, like when you first live in a new city or town and you suddenly realize where the roads meet up, and thus you start understanding where you are. It was definitely a enlightening moment for me.

I didn’t… eat right or work out. I know these are essential to what I am doing and so will make them a priority. This is the only body and brain I have, I need to nourish and appreciate them if I expect them to work for me.

I’m passionate about.. the new project I’m about to announce and then I let the doubt creep in. I am going to put together a time line to make it happen. Small steps sometimes have to be big steps.

I have read: Seth Godin – he really is an inspiration to believe in your own ideas and people. I am reading the Idea Virus in the bath – I always have a bath book, I have been known to run baths purely as an excuse to read. *note to self – make a list of bath books to share with people.

I am about to read – “The War of Art – Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles” – it sounds like just what I need at the moment.

I promise to: Write better and more often. Eat well and workout. Meditate without expectation. Do the work. Not worry about the outcome.

I am nearly halfway through this deliberate journey. I am loving the ideas that are constantly in my head, I know now the basics to get back to them whenever I need them. I am not loving my lack of sharing, my need to control this, and the fact that I am not living up to some of my own expectations. Halfway is enough time to see what happens.

I am not making this sound nearly as fun as it actually is, I am having a ball.. and I think I am making great strides… will reveal more tomorrow.

 

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days 8-13 – the quiet before the storm.

by aileen on July 26, 2011

I know I have been quiet. Sometimes you get too busy doing to write about doing. I committed to writing about this experience and so I’m back.

I have a new project that I’m set on doing. It’s an idea that might fail (those are the best kind) and I’m going to need others to make it happen (those are the scary kind).

I’m at the stage where I’m getting everything together behind the scenes which is why you haven’t heard from me, but I’m still here and I’m still being deliberately creative. Someone asked me yesterday, over coffee, “Where do you get all these ideas?” and I replied in my standard manner “Oh, that’s the easy part” – I was wrong, I defaulted to a standard answer (as we often do). They come from training your brain to think that way, they come from noticing the world, they come from being deliberately creative.

My first semester at college changed my life. They taught us to think of ideas, in fact that was all we did – and we were judged on it. I wish I could do that time over again – I wish I could analyze what we did. How I worked and how others worked. When it comes down to it the only way to think of ideas is to think of ideas.

I’m sorry I’m not revealing all on here, in my head I was intending to share it all, but sometimes ideas need some time to incubate before they are launched on the world. Today I will be making a timeline for that – working out what I need to get in place, and when. It’s getting close to time to share this idea, to let it out into the world and see if it flies or sinks – either way I’m going to learn a lot about me, about you, and about the world.

 

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Day 7 – tools

by aileen on July 20, 2011

Maybe this should just be called ’7 days of creativity’ – My mind is full of new ideas and I’m excited and ready to go. I have to keep telling myself it’s not about that. It’s about the whole process. I started this just to make creativity a deliberate focus and not have any real plan. I now have the beginnings of lots of ideas, and the beginnings are great fun, but not enough.

I am putting all the tools I need in place. My new macbook pro arrives today, my old macbook had just had enough and needs to be retired to a corner where it has an easy life playing movies and surfing the web. I have also ordered a new monitor that I can use with the pro and with my existing set up. I spent lots of the day yesterday absorbing some of the adobe changes to indesign, photoshop and finding out about other programs. I am way behind on my software and so have decided to subscribe to them (an option that adobe now offers) so I can really find out which I need. I know I will use indesign & photoshop and need to learn after effects so am getting to grips with them first.

Having an idea (or 7) isn’t enough, you need to make it happen. You need the right tools.

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Your brain does this…

by aileen on July 19, 2011

My husband showed me this on bad astronomy – has me freaked and fascinated all at the same time. Follow the instructions and you will see what I mean.

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day 6 – sharing

by aileen on July 19, 2011

Being deliberately creative takes a combination of thinking alone and sharing. Day 6 was a sharing day. I talked ideas with friends in person, over skype and via text – there are so many ways to share these days. I didn’t have “an idea” but I had an idea what I wanted to have an idea about. Then last night it struck me, – this may be ‘the idea’, it may just be the ‘next idea’ – or it may be the idea that leads to ‘the idea’ – who knows.. but it is firmly planted in my head and growing rapidly.

So the idea is…..

No, not ready to share it yet, but believe me, you will hear about it. There are lots of clues in this post – but clues are no good unless you know what you are looking for. So today, go and share your thoughts, your ideas, you thoughts, yourself – you’ll be surprised at what happens!

 

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Days 4 & 5

by aileen on July 18, 2011

This weekend I decided I would spend the time preparing my space, my equipment for what is brewing in my mind… yes that’s the gurgling sound you can hear when everything is quiet. It’s a kind of ‘build it’ and you can’t afford for it not to happen.

I got my current computers hard drive and memory upgraded – and ordered a new second screen (bigger) and a new (well, refurbished) macbook pro.. yep I went all out. I have decided to subscribe to the new Adobe stuff – all of it. It’s been a back and forth decision but I have decided that, although, yes it’s cheaper to buy it in the long run, this gives me a chance to have it all, play with it, learn (some of) it, and really see what I use and what I don’t. It’s time for me to play catch up in the software stakes.

I don’t want to be a graphic designer again, but I do want to use all the new technology to communicate – in a whole new way. I plan on using a whole lot more video, graphics and creativity. I want to combine that with my obsession with business, communication, connection and company culture.

Weekends are a great time to let things stew in your head, you can relax with friends and family and just let your ideas brew for a while.

This could be dangerous!

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