coaching

The Next Big Thing?

by aileen on April 20, 2011

I am working on a fun new project. It was inspired by all the questions I am asked about communication wherever I go. I wanted to be able to answer more questions, and to share those answers so we could all learn from them, I wanted to be able to provide a place where people can go to find the answers… and so a new website is being hatched. It will be a membership site, not sure of the cost yet, but I’m all about giving people the best value possible so you can rest easy on that.

It will be a place where you can go and find what you need, if it’s a last minute bullet point list as you head into a meeting, a video how to write a speech, or an article about dealing with difficult co-workers. There will also be (insert drumroll here……… ) a question and answer section where you will be able to ask questions and get them answered directly by me. It will be like having your very own communication coach. Someone to answer your questions about your specific situation. The answers may also be open to others to discuss so you can get lots of opinions and learn from a multitude of people – I’m not completely sure yet.

It’s still in the planning stages, but we are working hard and fast (it’s been brewing for a while)…

I am planning on including information/ advice about Presenting, Networking, Selling, Customer Service, Understanding People, Dealing with Difficult People, Asking Difficult Questions, Behavior, Negotiations, Creativity, Faciliating- and other subjects.

I’m not sure what all of this looks like yet… so I would love your input.. What would you like to see? What would you use? Tell me your thoughts – after all it’s all about you. My aim is to make it the best resource of it’s kind, and to do that I need to make you happy.

Please leave your thoughts below. They will be read, and thought about, and will help create something magical…

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A busy week… lets work it out.

by aileen on December 6, 2010

This week is one of ‘those’ weeks. One where I have what seems like a million things to do. I’m still playing catch up from last week and it would be easy to sit here and feel overwhelmed. I confess by the end of last week I did feel that way, but today I have a schedule. I have it all planned out. I know what I am meant to be doing and when.

I know today won’t go as I have planned, they never do – and life would be very dull if they did – but having a plan enables you to think about one thing at once, and get it done (or at least further towards done).

Sometimes we look at our ‘to do’ lists and there are just too many things on them, we spend precious time just worrying about how we will fit everything in. Grab a calendar instead and block out times to work on the different things we have to do. Guess how long they will take, once we sit down, focused, most things take less time than we thought.

Today I have a plan, I know what I must get done, what I should work on, and what I want to do. There has to be a balance. Some of the things you want to do should always be included. Life has to be fun, you have to get to BE YOU. Consider moving some of the things that you think are ‘extras’ into the ‘must’ category. This week working out is in the ‘must’ column. I know that will make me more productive, more focused and have more energy in the long run. It’s an essential. It’s just as important as any project. Too often we skip the things that are best for us because we think there are more urgent things. Nothing is more important than your health – it is the key to everything.

So have a great week, I have an appointment in the gym now.

Aileen.

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BE YOU- THE WHOLE TRUTH – John Herrera

by aileen on December 3, 2010

John Herrera

John is the owner of JuuJ Coiffure on Kaliste Saloom. He is one of the coolest people you will ever meet, and I’m not just saying that because he often has scissors just inches from my throat. He is one of those people who is doing exactly what they are meant to be doing, and I love people like that. John manages to combine a mischievous grin with a total air of calm. He is professional but never predictable and that makes me smile.

What was your first job?
My first job was at Baskin Robbins as a senior in high school. I can make a mean banana split.

Describe a typical day in your life.
I usually start with a 5:30 WOD at CrossFit Lafayette. Then I take my daughter to school for 7:30. I get to my salon by 10 AM and take anywhere from 8-12 clients till about 7 or 7:30 PM. I’m home just in time to hang out with my wife and 3 kids for about an hour, then we say prayers and tuck the kids in around 8:30 or 9. I try to get to bed before 10:30 so I can wake up and do it all again.

What advice would you give the younger you?
Live like you were dying.

What values do you live by?
Family, balance, passion,

What living figure most inspires you?
My wife. She challenges me to live “eternity-minded.”

What was the best advice you were ever given?
“Know when to hold ‘em, Know when to fold ‘em, Know when to walk away, Know when to run” Kenny Rogers.

What book would you tell everyone to read?
Power of a Praying Husband, Wife, etc. by Stormie Omartian

What is the best thing about where you live?
Hospitality.

How do you “let the good times roll”?
Cow tipping.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a surf shop owner.

What is your motto?
Right is right, even if no one is doing it. Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it.

How would you like to be remembered?
As someone who made a difference in at least one person’s life.

What do you say to yourself when you doubt yourself?
Just keep swimming! Picture Dory on Finding Nemo.

What three things are vital to being you?
Music, Laughter, and Ambition.

Which words or phrases do most overuse?
Seriously…I use it as a question, a statement, and an exclamation. Seriously? Seriously. Seriously!
and Ridonkulous.

What is your favorite word?
JuuJ. The proper spelling is tzsuj; it’s a Yiddish verb that means to tweak, finesse, or make better. It’s also the name of my salon, JuuJ Coiffure.

What do you collect?
I would like to have a watch collection someday, but I have too many mouths to feed at home.

What food could you live on for a month?
Mexican, but the kind you get from any place in California with ‘bertos in the name-Alberto’s, Filberto’s, Roberto’s, etc.

What would you change about yourself?
I probably would get rid of my tattoos. I’d be bringing wholesome back.

Describe yourself in five words.
Blessed, amicable, independent, optimistic, fun-loving.

What is your idea of happiness?
Spending time with my children.

What is your favorite movie?
Pulp Fiction, one of the best quotable movies EVER.

What music defines who you are?
I’m a huge fan of DMB, but I grew up on punk rock and reggae.

What do you most regret?
I regret some of the things I did in my life, but what I regret most are the things I did NOT do.

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There is no prize.

by aileen on November 25, 2010

I saw this on my friend, Angie Hargett’s facebook page and just had to share it.. inspirational words.

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Do something..

by aileen on November 24, 2010

I don’t know how I missed it but last Wednesday was Guinness World Records Day. All over the world people attempted strange things in order to hold a world record. A 90 year old man in England became the oldest man to wing-walk, in Germany they broke the record for the most nationalities in a sauna, and in the USA they gathered together the most dogs in costumed attire. Records were also created for juggling (both underwater and on land), catching arrows, making mosaics from rice, standing on one leg and of course I can’t forget the new record for the most stairs climbed while balancing someone on your head or most concrete blocks broken while holding a raw egg.

People all over the world are wonderfully strange. I haven’t met any of these people, and although I would love to sit down with them and find out what makes them do these things, I know one thing for sure. That each one of them went home happy that night.

You only have to spend a few minutes on Facebook to see people’s accomplishments. There are photos or status updates that show people at 5 and 10k races, winning honors, playing in sports teams, passing tests, and generally sharing their news. It is human nature to strive for more. I’m always proud when I see one of my friends achieve something. It pushes me to want to do it too.

In the early 1920’s when George Mallory set out to attempt to climb Everest he was asked why, and he simply answered “because it’s there.” He didn’t make it but his quote has become “the most famous three words in mountaineering” and applicable to so many things we do in our lives even today.

We are human, we strive to be better. It’s easy at the moment to be discouraged. Ten minutes listening to the news, or dwelling on all the negativity around us and we can start to wonder. I know everything will be fine. Better than fine. While people are still pushing their own comfort zones, while we are attempting new records and trying new things we will all be just fine. If you ever doubt that, just go and check Facebook. Or even better find something that you want to achieve and start working on it. You don’t have to climb Everest, just take a few steps in a direction you want to go in. You will feel more alive and more positive.

If you followed last week’s advice and surrounded yourself with positive people then this should be easy. If not, do it now. Find those that are pushing themselves and join in. It’s never too late to start.

As we get to Thanksgiving we start thinking about Christmas and tend to plan a lot of the next month away, don’t put this off until next year. Don’t tell yourself you’ll make it your New Years Resolution. Do something, and do it now.

You don’t have to break a record, just expand your comfort zone.

This article appeared in my column “That’s what she said” in The Advertiser on 23rd November 2010

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BE YOU – THE WHOLE TRUTH – Tracy Wirtz

by aileen on November 19, 2010

Tracy Wirtz

Tracy is the co-anchor of Good Morning Acadiana, on and off screen she oozes good vibes and is usually wearing a huge smile.
Tracy is one of those people who is so herself that she relaxes those around her. What you get is what you see, and in Tracy’s case what you see is a woman with a big heart and her priorities in order.

What was your first job?
A babysitter. I was 13 and I was awful at it… after that I fried chicken.

Describe a typical day in your life.
I get up at 1.45am and am in the office by 3.15. Yes, I do my own hair and make-up. Then I get wired up (with a microphone) and smile a lot

What advice would you give the younger you?
I would say two things – Be gentle with yourself. Recognize the speed bump between your brain and your mouth.

What event in your life most shaped who you are now?
There are so many, of course the births of my children, but it’s really about paying attention to all the moments, they add up.

What values do you live by?
Every single person has a purpose, a reason for being in your life. Nothing ever happens by accident.

What do you most appreciate?
Time – without it, you have nothing.

What is your favorite journey?
Work to home, and home to work. My ramp up and my decompression time.
The journey to 40. I’m so much more comfortable in my 40 year old skin than I was in my 20 year old skin.

Where is your favorite place to be alone?
In my bed at home, or in the bathroom at work (it’s my dressing room)

What living figure most inspires you?
My mother, she inspires me to this day, she’s 64 and she doesn’t stop, she amazes me.
My Grand Daughter – when I look at her I see hope, the future.

What was the best advice you were ever given?
BE YOU! Early in my career I tried to emulate people, I was told to find out who I was and be that person. I have to be me.

What book would you tell everyone to read?
Using People by Aileen Bennett (of course).. and I would tell them to read fiction. Other peoples imaginations fascinate me, it’s a real escape.

What is the best thing about where you live?
That even before I was on TV, everybody knew who I was.

How do you “let the good times roll” ?
With a remote control and a DVR

How would you like to be remembered?
As somebody who make people happy. There are not enough people like that in the world.

What do you say to yourself when you doubt yourself?
I’m very hard on myself, I’m very mean to myself. I don’t talk myself out of a bad time – I just keep going.

What three things are vital to BEing YOU?
My children. My job. My sense of humor.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Awesome”, “Dude”

What is your favorite word?
Serendipity. I just love saying it, what it means, everything about it.

What food could you live on for a month?
Steak

What literary, movie or cartoon character do you most identify with?
Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink

What is your idea of happiness?
Peace. For me, for my family. Oh, and lots of smiles.

What is your favorite movie?
Pretty in Pink.

What music defines who you are?
I love country music, but I listen to whatever strikes me. My music reflects my mood.

What questions do you wish I’d asked?
What things do you DVR, my DVR is stacked. Greys Anatomy, Private Practice, Cop Shows and of course, Swamp People.

The BE YOU questionnaire by Aileen appears in The Times of Acadiana every Thursday.

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This is the Commencement Speech I wish I’d given…

by aileen on November 18, 2010

One of the things I have always wanted to do is a commencement speech. The one below is perfect… but I have one ready for when someone asks.. it’s on my list of things to say YES to.

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We are in this together

by aileen on November 17, 2010

(This post first appeared in my column,”That’s what she said” in the Daily Advertiser, on 11/16/10.)

Take a look around you, at your life, and especially at your friends. They have a bigger impact on your life than you might think. It is said that you earn the average of your five closest friends, but more importantly than that, they reflect who you really are.

Think about the people you spend the most time with, do their attitudes reflect your own, are they positive and upbeat the majority of the time, or are they stuck in misery and full of excuses as to why they are not happy? Are they adding to your energy or draining it?

We all go through bad times, and lean on our friends occasionally, I’m not talking about those moments, I’m talking about their general attitude to life.

I have found that ‘like attracts like’ – if you are a positive, creative person with big goals you are more likely to gravitate toward people who have a similar outlook, and they will magically find you. Equally if you like to wallow in fear, and gloom you will attract people who feel the same. People are a mirror to your own attitude.

If you are reading this, and know that you have been attracting the wrong people, if they are not supportive and positive then you need to change something. But, before you go around dumping your friends you may want to start with the only person you can change – and that’s you. Make sure you are being the kind of friend you are looking for. Often once we change ourselves we find that our friends attitudes change as well.

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Oprah Winfrey

We sometimes think that we can achieve our goals alone, but although the discipline we have when no one is watching is important, so is connecting with others. Sharing our goals, thoughts and feelings is an integral part of being human. We are pack animals by nature, we need others and are influenced by them, and they by us.

So take a look at your friends, your colleagues, and those you spend time with and see if they are reflecting who you want to be. They are definitely reflecting who you are now.

While I am writing this, I am thinking about the people I spend my time with. Most of them are driven, creative and positive and I’m very grateful for them. They keep me that way, when I doubt myself they are there with stories and support. I hope you are thinking the same. Sometimes we judge life by our own successes and achievements and forget that it’s a group effort. We need people around us to share our victories and failures, to celebrate with us and commiserate with. We also need them to show us who we are.

Sometimes we all forget that we need others around us, I am more guilty of that than most. We get caught up in stuff and neglect the people we care about.Take some time this week to connect or reconnect, and be the positive influence in someone’s life.

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What if they ask me to talk about…

by aileen on November 15, 2010

It’s one of the main questions I get.. What if they ask me to talk about (insert name of something you know nothing about). There are a number of answers to this:

1. Why would they ask you to talk about something you know nothing about? If it is something you really should have an opinion about then get one! Remember they often want your opinion, they may value what you think. It may be that you just get to ask questions… “I like others, have found the talk about this very confusing, can you outline the main reason we are doing this.. “.

2. You can practice impromptu speaking. In fact I love to do it. You can think around a subject if you know you are to be involved in a discussion about it, ask yourself every question you can think about it. If you want to be confident about talking about any subject then join your local toastmasters club. The tabletopics session, where you are asked to talk for a couple of minutes about any subject without notice. It is a fun, safe way to learn and with a bit of practice you will improve quickly.

Never be scared to give your opinion, people like to hear different points of view, and you may mention something that they haven’t thought of. If someone asks you what you think, they probably want to know what you think. They don’t need you to be clever or entertaining, but they do need to hear your views.

If you are generally nervous about speaking up, and terrified of speaking out you may want to work with a coach. I know a good one!

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TWSS – we are all in this together

by aileen on November 10, 2010

This week has been a strange one, full of reminders that life doesn’t always go as we plan. It’s all very well people like me telling you to find your passion and follow it but sometimes it seems life has other plans.

We don’t live our lives on pieces of paper, we live them in the real world where things go wrong, where people lose their jobs, family members suffer, accidents happen, children get sick, and we sometimes need to put ‘making a living’ above living a dream.

It’s a scary world out there sometimes.

It’s times like these that bring out our strengths and show us who we really are.

This week I attended a funeral of an amazing local lady who, although I didn’t know her well, has left a lasting impression of lessons on how to live a life. She lived life to the fullest, she spoke her mind (oh boy, did she speak her mind). The stories that people told were full of acts of humor, of incredible compassion, and most of all, of an unrelenting passion for life and love. I know people always speak good of the dead, but this was different. No one had to exaggerate a tale, no details needed to be changed to make her sound better, the stories were the same as they told when she was alive.

It was a wake-up call for me. If I wanted people to be that honest about me when I was dead, I had better make sure I lived the life I wanted them to talk about.

Following your passion or going after your dreams doesn’t mean that life won’t get in the way. How you live your life is just as important as what you achieve, the way you approach the things you don’t plan for is often who you really are.

In today’s society, we tend to think the bigger the goal, the more valid it is, but that just isn’t true. It’s about living the right life for you. It’s about following your own instincts and passion and not anyone else’s. Yes, there will be times when you have to adjust your plans, times where you feel like giving up, but you never get to give up on being you. It’s just too difficult to be anyone else.

This week is just as important as every other week in your life. Whatever you are facing, you get to be who you are. Something you do this week may well create a story that someone will tell after you are dead, something that they thinks portrays who you really are. It’s the things that test us that show us our own strengths.

As you go through life this week, remember, we don’t know what people are going through any more than they know the stresses we are facing. Lets look at the bigger picture, that we are all just people trying to live our lives in the best way we can. We all have different dreams and goals, different passions and different personalities but we are all in this together.

“That’s what she said”, a communication column by Aileen Bennett appears in The Advertiser every Tuesday.

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