tips

The best advice I was ever given…

by aileen on November 22, 2010

(about speaking)

Your speech doesn’t begin with the first words you say, it starts way before that.
The moment you are in sight of a member of your audience your speech has started, whether that be when you enter the building, when you get out of your car, when someone meets you at the airport or the day before when the conference begins.

You should look and sound confident the whole time, not just when you are on stage. If you have sat at breakfast looking nervous and scanning your notes, you have already made an impression on someone. If you sit through the speakers before you but ignore them, and reread your speech, you are not only missing out on some great stuff that you could be referencing, but you are giving an impression to the other speakers that you don”t care about them, and telling your audience that you are not prepared.
If your audience knows that you are confident they can relax and listen to you.

You may have already guessed that I believe that your speech doesn’t end until you leave the venue. Be confident, BE YOU.

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We are in this together

by aileen on November 17, 2010

(This post first appeared in my column,”That’s what she said” in the Daily Advertiser, on 11/16/10.)

Take a look around you, at your life, and especially at your friends. They have a bigger impact on your life than you might think. It is said that you earn the average of your five closest friends, but more importantly than that, they reflect who you really are.

Think about the people you spend the most time with, do their attitudes reflect your own, are they positive and upbeat the majority of the time, or are they stuck in misery and full of excuses as to why they are not happy? Are they adding to your energy or draining it?

We all go through bad times, and lean on our friends occasionally, I’m not talking about those moments, I’m talking about their general attitude to life.

I have found that ‘like attracts like’ – if you are a positive, creative person with big goals you are more likely to gravitate toward people who have a similar outlook, and they will magically find you. Equally if you like to wallow in fear, and gloom you will attract people who feel the same. People are a mirror to your own attitude.

If you are reading this, and know that you have been attracting the wrong people, if they are not supportive and positive then you need to change something. But, before you go around dumping your friends you may want to start with the only person you can change – and that’s you. Make sure you are being the kind of friend you are looking for. Often once we change ourselves we find that our friends attitudes change as well.

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Oprah Winfrey

We sometimes think that we can achieve our goals alone, but although the discipline we have when no one is watching is important, so is connecting with others. Sharing our goals, thoughts and feelings is an integral part of being human. We are pack animals by nature, we need others and are influenced by them, and they by us.

So take a look at your friends, your colleagues, and those you spend time with and see if they are reflecting who you want to be. They are definitely reflecting who you are now.

While I am writing this, I am thinking about the people I spend my time with. Most of them are driven, creative and positive and I’m very grateful for them. They keep me that way, when I doubt myself they are there with stories and support. I hope you are thinking the same. Sometimes we judge life by our own successes and achievements and forget that it’s a group effort. We need people around us to share our victories and failures, to celebrate with us and commiserate with. We also need them to show us who we are.

Sometimes we all forget that we need others around us, I am more guilty of that than most. We get caught up in stuff and neglect the people we care about.Take some time this week to connect or reconnect, and be the positive influence in someone’s life.

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BE YOU – THE WHOLE TRUTH – Kody Chamberlain

by aileen on November 12, 2010

Kody Chamberlain

Kody is a comic book creator and illustrator.  He is a quiet creative powerhouse often to be found in the local coffee shop (typically Americas coffee at the moment) sketching or planning. While he manages to stay relatively anonymous in Lafayette he is quite a big deal in the the world of comic books, having most recently produced his own comic, Sweets, which is getting people talking all over the country and has just signed a deal with MTV Geek. There is even has a Wikipedia page about him. His success is due both to his talent and work ethic, a lethal combination.

What was your first job?
Besides a bit of grass cutting, my first real job was scooping ice cream and making sandwiches at a small shop in Thibodaux, Louisiana. I used to ride my bike about 5 miles to get there.

Describe a typical day in your life.
My wife is a school teacher, so we normally wake up around 5:30am and I get to the studio around 6:30am. I’ll often walk over to Americas Coffee House in the morning to get the blood flowing and do a bit of writing, email replies, an any paperwork that needs to get done. Then I walk back to the studio and start making comics. That involves lots of penciling, inking, coloring et. I do try and do one full page of comic book art every day, but that’s not always possible, so I do still work a lot of nights and weekends to get i done. It’s fun work, so I don’ mind much, and I have a very flexible schedule.

What advice would you give the younger you?
I would tell a younger me to bet big on the Saints in the 2010 Superbowl. And I’d also tell a younger me to start drawing and reading comics a lot earlier in life. Since I started drawing around the age of 18, I was a bit behind and it’s taken a while to catch up. Most of the other professional artists I know have been drawing and reading comics all their lives. I wish I had as well. But in a way it may be to my advantage because I have an outside’s perspective. Time will tell.

What event in your life most shaped who you are now?
There are several of those moments that come to mind, but the event that’s had the most impact so far was the death of my mother. We never really bonded or had a real connection, so instead of living with regrets, I’ve been working hard to build better relationships with family and friends ever since.

What values do you live by?
I don’t always live up to my own standards, but I try to be honest, respectful, hard working, and a true friend.

What do you most appreciate?
My wife.

What is your favorite journey?
I love learning, any chance I get to learn something new, I embrace it. That’s always the best journey of all.

Where is your favorite place to be alone?
I’m usually alone in my studio, so that’s the easy answer. But since I work alone most days, I enjoy taking breaks and interacting with the people as much as I can.

What living figure most inspires you?
I’m most inspired by art, and my favorite living artist is Martin Scorsese.

What was the best advice you were ever given?
My college graphic design professor one told me that in the real world, results count, not effort. That’s been a real inspiration for me in many ways.

What book would you tell everyone to read?
To Kill a Mockingbird.

What is the best thing about where you live?
The people around me.

How do you “let the good times roll” ?
Dinner and a movie.

How would you like to be remembered?
I’d like to be remembered as someone that gave more than they took.

What do you say to yourself when you doubt yourself?
I rarely doubt myself, but when I do, I remind myself there are people far less intelligent than me doing what I’m trying to do.

What three things are vital to BEing YOU?
Family, art, and music.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I probably curse too damn much.

What is you biggest fear?
My biggest fear is not knowing whats coming next, but it’s also my biggest thrill.

What is your favorite word?
Storytelling.

What food could you live on for a month?
Raisin Bran

What literary, movie or cartoon character do you most identify with?
Don Draper, but without the adultery, smoking, and alcohol.

What is your idea of happiness?
Hitting a deadline and heading to New Orleans for a weekend away with my wife. Those are the best days.

What question do you wish I’d asked?
What are you working on now?
I’m currently writing and drawing SWEETS for Image Comics available online, in comic shops, and on iPad/iPhones. I’m also illustrating PUNKS for MTV Geek, which should be available late this month.

The BE YOU questionnaire by Aileen appears in The Times of Acadiana every Thursday.

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Please stop..

by aileen on September 20, 2010

It’s not often I use this column to have (as we would say in England) “a bit of a rant.” I am a ridiculously positive person, mainly because life is better that way.

This week, however, I have something to say, and I can’t think of a nice way to put it. (Well, I can, but this may be more effective.)

Dear store workers, bank employees, doctors receptionists, anyone who works anywhere where there are clients or customers in the building or on the phone:

Please don’t let me hear you gossip. When I can overhear you talk about customers, clients, co-workers or even your family, it gives a really bad impression. If I hear you laughing at a customer behind their back, I think you are going to do the same about me. If I hear you discussing someone, especially using their name, I may well know that person. We live in a small place, and people know people. If I hear you putting someone down or spreading rumors, it makes me feel bad about the place you work and the service you provide — not to mention the fact that you obviously are not working. I don’t even care if you are taking a break, letting me hear what you are saying is just unprofessional and makes you and your organization look bad. Please stop.

Thank you,

Aileen

I know many bosses who need to print out this column and hang it up where their employees can see it.

I talk all the time about building relationships and about the importance of good communication. However great you are with your customers, their overhearing a negative conversation can destroy the whole partnership you have built. What you say about others reflects on you. Negativity breeds negativity.

You may think no one else can hear. You may be surprised. I had a week where I happened to overhear a lot of these conversations. I know why someone quit working at the bank (although they think she was probably fired). I know which clothing store was laughing at the customer before me for being too large. (I will never shop there again.) I know in which companies employees were too wrapped up in gossip to pay attention to their client.

All of the branding, advertising and social media campaigns in the world don’t matter if you give someone a bad impression when they enter your business. You may have the best product in the world, but people will judge your organization on their individual experience.

Please presume that if any customer is in the same building as you (or in the parking lot) that they can hear what you say. This also applies to being on the phone. Or better still, why not help to create an environment where gossiping isn’t acceptable; where you really value your clients, not just say you do; where everyone conducts themselves professionally at all times, not just when they think someone may be listening.

You’ll feel better about yourself and your co-workers, and your customers will feel better about their experience.

from my weekly column in The Daily Advertiser. The original can be found here

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A bit of a rant

by aileen on September 7, 2010

This is my column from the Daily Advertiser this week, original online version can be found here

It’s not often I use this column to have (as we would say in England) “a bit of a rant.” I am a ridiculously positive person, mainly because life is better that way.

This week, however, I have something to say, and I can’t think of a nice way to put it. (Well, I can, but this may be more effective.)

Dear store workers, bank employees, doctors receptionists, anyone who works anywhere where there are clients or customers in the building or on the phone:

Please don’t let me hear you gossip. When I can overhear you talk about customers, clients, co-workers or even your family, it gives a really bad impression. If I hear you laughing at a customer behind their back, I think you are going to do the same about me. If I hear you discussing someone, especially using their name, I may well know that person. We live in a small place, and people know people. If I hear you putting someone down or spreading rumors, it makes me feel bad about the place you work and the service you provide — not to mention the fact that you obviously are not working. I don’t even care if you are taking a break, letting me hear what you are saying is just unprofessional and makes you and your organization look bad. Please stop.

Thank you,

Aileen

I know many bosses who need to print out this column and hang it up where their employees can see it.

I talk all the time about building relationships and about the importance of good communication. However great you are with your customers, their overhearing a negative conversation can destroy the whole partnership you have built. What you say about others reflects on you. Negativity breeds negativity.

You may think no one else can hear. You may be surprised. I had a week where I happened to overhear a lot of these conversations. I know why someone quit working at the bank (although they think she was probably fired). I know which clothing store was laughing at the customer before me for being too large. (I will never shop there again.) I know in which companies employees were too wrapped up in gossip to pay attention to their client.

All of the branding, advertising and social media campaigns in the world don’t matter if you give someone a bad impression when they enter your business. You may have the best product in the world, but people will judge your organization on their individual experience.

Please presume that if any customer is in the same building as you (or in the parking lot) that they can hear what you say. This also applies to being on the phone. Or better still, why not help to create an environment where gossiping isn’t acceptable; where you really value your clients, not just say you do; where everyone conducts themselves professionally at all times, not just when they think someone may be listening.

You’ll feel better about yourself and your co-workers, and your customers will feel better about their experience.

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Are you mean and unforgiving?

by aileen on April 28, 2010

Well are you? Do you mutter insults under your breath? Keep nagging about a very small mistake that should have been forgotten weeks ago? Do you insult someone when they eat the wrong food, forget something simple, or simply get something wrong? Do you tell them they are useless, stupid, fat, lazy, and never going to amount to anything?

I hope most of you are shaking your heads and wondering what I put in my tea this morning.. but

What if that person is you? Do you treat yourself as well as you treat others? Just for today be kind to yourself, be encouraging and forgiving. Treat yourself like you are your best friend. Just for today, and then tomorrow, and then everyday after that.

I will, if you will.

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BEing YOU (examples in the real world)

by aileen on April 12, 2010

I’m always talking about BEing YOU. It’s a rather vague term that’s hard to live up to sometimes. I think I have an advantage. So many people expect me to ‘be me’ that when I’m playing small or holding back I read my emails from people thanking me for leading the way. I can’t afford to not BE ME. It would be hypercritical of me.

Today I read a blog post on a blog that I often visit. It’s written by Lynn Terry who is a super-affiliate marketer and I think I can say, a personal friend. (Lynn, please correct me if I haven’t reached personal friend status yet). I met her at NAMS (the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar). Although Affiliate marketing is NOT what I do, by any means, it’s an area that holds a fascination for me. Anyway I digress. Lynn is extremely successful in her field and is very open and has an abundant nature rare in the strange world of internet marketing. Today she wrote a blog post about how much she earns, her income.. and she shows figures. Although it’s the thing that hits you from this post, after all who else talks about what they earn?, she makes it clear that it’s more about other things:

“You’ll rarely ever see me talk dollar figures, or discuss my income. There’s a reason for that. Personally, I feel it’s irrelevant. The amount of money I need to maintain my ideal lifestyle may be completely different than your own goals.”

Lynn spends a great deal of her time these days helping others to be successful. I don’t have an affiliate link to her stuff but do heartily recommend that if you want to learn how to make money in affiliate marketing you start with Lynn Terry.

(When I start my new interview series I will be asking Lynn to take part – Lynn, if you are reading this, be prepared to say yes)

UPDATE: I guess I should include the link – http://www.clicknewz.com/2317/lifestyle-and-income-of-a-super-affiliate/ – Maybe this is why I’m not an affiliate marketer!

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Saturday video

by aileen on February 20, 2010

I’ve always been a Jamie Oliver fan – but this is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. If you have kids, or are an auntie, uncle, cousin or anyone else please watch this TED video. Please let it change your life!

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Sunday Quotes

by aileen on January 17, 2010

Be yourself. The world worships the original.

Ingrid Bergman

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Pay the writer

by aileen on January 14, 2010

A friend sent me this video this week, after we’d had a conversation about a simiar topic. There are a lot of people who will ask you to write, speak, (insert whatever you do here) for free. It’s not wrong to get paid! It’s the number one question I get asked “How do I get paid for speaking” – my first answer “ask”. In this video Harlan Ellison is passionate about his message (some bad language occurs).

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